Creativity

I haven't designed any logos or websites for while. I used to design all the time--almost every day. For some reason, I usually need a creative outlet to prevent stress from building up. How that works, I'm not sure; I'm only sure that it does. Any kind of creation will do: designing graphics, composing music, building databases, cooking food, writing books, and so on, and so forth. I feel content when I am productive.

But recently I've been so busy with other things, I haven't made time to be really creative. Oh, I suppose have been productive as I've rushed to meet deadlines; however, it's not the same as spontaneously creating something for the joy of creation. Intent makes the difference between full satisfaction and mere relief. When I start a project with the intent to make something that is useful, beautiful, or makes my stomach full, for no reason other than a desire to create, then I gain a sense of satisfaction that lasts for days afterwards. But if I'm up against a tight deadline and have to produce "or else..." then I often feel just relieved when it's over.

I would really like to feel more satisfied after finishing required projects. Some of my best work has been done under pressure, but I haven't enjoyed the results as much as I would if I had undertaken the project spontaneously or out of curiosity. I believe that if I could change my attitude I could learn to feel more satisfied with mandatory projects. But how do I change my attitude? Not just change my outward demeanor when performing such tasks, but really change the way I think and feel about those things. I don't know. Why do I always ask myself such hard questions? Again, I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to teach myself a lesson.